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AmericanDaughter
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Name: AmericanDaughter
Gender: Female
Interests: God. Expressing myself. Advocate for Children. Helping to end child abuse. Humanity. Earth. Harmony. Peace. Freedom. My Soul.
Expertise: Doing what I do.
Occupation: Catcher in the Rye
Industry: Iconoclast.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
12/18/2008
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| Cowards hit children.
CRIN: Child's Rights Information Network
http://www.crin.org/issues/index.asp
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United Nations
UNESCO recommends that corporal punishment be prohibited in schools, homes and institutions as a form of discipline, and that it is a violation of human rights as well as counterproductive, ineffective, dangerous and harmful to children on several levels.
Australia
The Australian Psychological Society holds the corporal punishment of children is an ineffective method of deterring unwanted behavior, promotes undesirable behaviors and fails to demonstrate an alternative desirable behavior.
Canada
The Canadian Pediatrics Society reviewed research on spanking and concluded that it was associated with negative outcomes, and recommended spanking be discouraged by physicians.
United Kingdom
The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health supports advocacy to protect children from all types of assault including spanking and opposes striking of children in all circumstances. The Royal College of Psychiatrists also take the position that corporal punishment is unacceptable in all circumstances.
United States
The American Academy of Pediatrics stated that corporal punishment possesses some negative side effects and limited benefits, and recommends the use of other forms of discipline to manage undesirable behavior. The American Psychological Association believes that the use of physical punishment in institutions that care for children is unlikely to improve problem behavior and poses the risk of significant negative side effects including poor self-esteem, hostility and greater likelihood of using physical aggression.
Attention Parents: Experts agree on what your heart should tell you...
it is a violation of human rights as well as counterproductive, ineffective, dangerous and harmful to children on several levels. ineffective method of deterring unwanted behavior, promotes undesirable behaviors and fails to demonstrate an alternative desirable behavior.negative outcomes, and recommended spanking be discouraged by physicians.opposes striking of children in all circumstances. corporal punishment is unacceptable in all circumstances.the use of physical punishment in institutions that care for children is unlikely to improve problem behavior and poses the risk of significant negative side effects including poor self-esteem, hostility and greater likelihood of using physical aggression.
Stop Spanking
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| Hey you. Yes, you. Stop hitting your kids.
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My Grandparents on my mother’s side viewed children as crafty manipulators, untamed beings that needed tough love to toe the line and be productive members of society, acceptable at home and in public. Children were to be seen and not heard. My mother was proud to say that her father “ruled with an iron fist.” She would tell us the cruel ways her father treated their family and lament what she thought was her weakness, not being able to be as tough on us as her father was on her. She felt she was a weak parent compared and allowed her children too much leniency. "I may not have always liked or loved my father but I damn sure respected him," she would say when she thought we were not giving her enough respect, which was always.
We were told that our feelings did not matter and we would not be entitled to an opinion until we had moved out on our own and taking care of ourselves. “We’re not always going to be around to take care of you, so you had better learn to take care of yourself,” they had begun to say in a ‘I’m just warning you for your own good tone' as early as middle school. It did not matter what rule or law they laid down, in my mother’s eyes I was always incapable of doing as she asked, I was and am always a disappointment.
The attitude that we were the enemy, parents against the children, is how our family ran. Now that I am older I know that we were not the only family with this philosophy, in fact I find it is all too common. Parents start some kind of 'us against them' campaign and kids try to keep up with the game but always loose. That is until they become parents themselves and release this frustration on their own young. You grow up feeling like a criminal when you have done nothing wrong. To my mother, we were always up to something sly. We were always trying to get away with something and she was going to find out what. I was being accused of things I didn't do before I was a teenager and really started doing things I knew my parents wouldn't approve of, but they had already tagged me a trouble maker. The teen years are the last moments of your childhood, where you have become as conscious as your parents(although most parents refuse to believe this about teens and also refuse to remember what it was like to be one)and you begin to realize how full of shit they are, how they lectured, punished and taught and made you feel bad and unworthy of them and society-all in the name of raising you right-and their flaws are beyond any they were 'correcting' in you. It is the death of the Gods.
High School Hellcats(video)
Teenage girls get pregnant and they are said to be out of control or at least making poor decisions and society admits this to such a degree that we call teen pregnancy a 'epidemic' and everyone knows, especially teenagers what adults and society thinks of their abilities as human beings at this stage. With their daughter who is pregnant or the boy who is the father we hear a common attitude from their parents "well, you have a child now so you had better grow up, I had to" and this serves as an example of their own expert parenting while we all wonder why this keeps happening. Millions of dollars are spent each year investigating why so many teenagers become parents and the terrible effects this has on our society. We are all children of children playing house until we are aged enough that everyone, including ourselves, takes us seriously. Somehow teen parents become just parents when nobody is looking. What qualified them? Experience along the way? Woe to the first children born. Only children are uncorrupted. Only children tell the truth not the other way around. The moment you grow up is when you have a child of your own and stick your head in the sand.
Babies having Babies
Is this about children running with scissors? No. Even a ten year old babysitter knows to keep smaller children from physical harm. Unless extra education is sought most parents are only qualified to babysit not guide and mold. Human beings do not give themselves enough time to grow before they have children of their own. This might have been a necessity when life expectancy was thirty-five but we need a new generation who realizes what our grandparents and parents did in their time is not always best in the now and seek information that is available.
The parent of today was a teen yesterday whom society did not respect and the pop quiz on parenting teen parents take as they raise their child is unfair to the child. My mother would say; "we were young, we made mistakes we did our best." Why doesn't society take that view in the first place? We tell teens to wait to have sex, because having a baby will ruin their life, why don't we say 'hey, you did your best' to them? We expect responsibility from teens who were raised by children while we make excuses for parents when we realize how unqualified they were to guide their children. When a teen 'goes wrong' everyone wonders if it was their friends, drugs or some evil influence that caused this child's fall from grace. Less popular now in the 21st century is the idea that Satan must be the reason, that the child/teen is possessed or a bad seed, but unfortunately there are still adults who subscribe to these beliefs today. The majority of humanity has advanced beyond superstition, yet in too many situations involving children, parents and society take a stance that it is the child that is bad and not that she had bad parenting. That is because society is parents and their children are the scapegoats. How many parents take responsibility? Not many. Taking responsibility does not mean we go back to corporal punishment or treating our children like criminals. Our parents way of spare the rod only creates more dysfunction and certainly did nothing to stop us from being another generation of children having children.
The sounds of a child, raised by children and now having their own child are the sounds of immaturity and it is the true child who endures the abuse. "Well, too bad. Because I said so. You will do as I say and like it. Do you want me to come over there? Do you want to be in trouble? I am at my wits end, I don't know if I can handle these kids any longer. I guess we just had kids way too young..."
The manner in which the majority of humanity has been raised up until now was barbaric, and the attitude that our parents held some special wisdom beyond trial and error should be seen in the light of truth. The boy and girl teens that got pregnant were the children of teens that got pregnant. We are putting too much stock in what the previous generation's morals and values were when we can see these ways no longer work yet we continue the empty tradition. Elder generations looking from above would wish for us to move on and become better than they, even if circumstance kept them from teaching us while they were here. Our parents were doing what they knew to be best but today we can know better.
AmericanDaughter
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| Dr. Sears' Opinion on Spanking: edited for content. Full article can be viewed by clicking this link.
I've practiced pediatrics for 35 years and raised eight children with my wife. Over the years, I've seen lots of children grow up, and I've become more and more convinced that spanking is not the best solution when it comes to child discipline. In my opinion, "sparing the rod" results in emotionally healthier and better disciplined children. In fact, based on increasing scientific evidence against spanking and anti-spanking opinions among child development researchers, most European and Scandinavian countries have enacted laws against spanking. In addition, the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child declared spanking a form of violence and supports the creation of laws against physical punishment. Spanking doesn't work. In my practice, I have had parents who spank and those who don't. With the ones who do, I've seen that it just doesn't work. Many times the parent will say, "The more we spank, the worse he behaves!" Spanking creates a distance between parent and child. It doesn't promote good behavior, and if it seems to discourage bad behavior, it does so more by force than desire. As parents of a large family, my wife and I have had to run a well-disciplined household, so I believe in discipline that works. Since my wife and I are aware of the research against spanking and have rarely seen it work, we adapted a "no spanking" attitude in disciplining our children. Having decided that we would not spank our children -- but we would discipline them -- forced us to learn better discipline techniques. If you program yourself with "I will not hit my child," it forces you to stop and take the time to think, "Is there a better way I can handle this situation?" Spanking models violence. When a big person hits a little person, especially out of anger, it can tell the child that it's okay to hit people. The mom of one of my patients once told me that she thought she had to spank her child to be a good disciplinarian -- until one day she observed her 3-year-old daughter hitting her younger brother. When the mom intervened, the daughter said, "I'm just playing mommy." Obviously, there was no more spanking in that house! In a child's mind, if Mom or Dad does something, it's okay. If you vent your anger by hitting your child, then it's harder to rationalize to your child why he shouldn't hit someone when he's angry. Empathy -- the ability to think before you act and imagine how your actions will affect the other person -- is one of the main qualities that we want to instill in our children. Spanking sabotages empathy. A child is likely to haul off and hit another child without considering whether his actions are going to hurt the other person. Research supports not spanking. Long-term studies have shown that children who were spanked tend to be more physically violent as teenagers and adults, are more likely to be bullies at school, and are generally more antisocial. In addition, children who were spanked excessively had a four times greater incidence of becoming spouse-abusers as adults. Spanking families plant the seed of violence in the next generation. (A necessary note about spanking studies: The same studies also showed that spanking had less damaging long-term effects when practiced in an overall loving home, used sensitively and infrequently, limited only to major offenses, and when the parent rationally explained why the child was spanked.) So how should you discipline your child? Getting behind the eyes of your child can do wonders for prompting you to click into a much more sensitive mode of disciplining than spanking. When he misbehaves, stop and think: "If I were my child, how would I want my parent to handle this?" Spanking is simply a force that gets a kid to stop the misbehavior at that particular time. Remember, discipline means teaching. You want your child to obey because he has learned to make his own choices of what is right or wrong, not out of fear of getting spanked. If you want to learn discipline techniques other than spanking, read our book, The Discipline Book, for many sensitive strategies that can replace spanking in your home. | | |
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